Being Outside Looking In

The other day I got an email from a follower asking me, “Miss Teri, how does one become calm when everything around seems to be pulling one’s triggers?” And I replied, “Learn the Art of Being Outside Looking In.”

You see, one of my favorite things to do when I am alone outside is people-watching. I like observing people, watching what they do, how they interact with others and themselves. It is like a brain exercise to me. I love to analyze why they do what they do and say what they say. It’s comparable to reading a book. Every page gives one intriguing discovery. I get to learn things by observing people. I gain a glimpse of what type of character they possess. In the process, I also uncover something about myself.

“Outside looking in”, I call it. It is a skill you need to ascend to your Higher Self.

What It Means

Now, let’s break down the meaning of this English idiom, “outside looking in.” From the Free Dictionary by Farlex, it means “excluded from something that one needs to participate in.”

Therefore, in life and relationships, being outside looking in means “to exclude” yourself from a particular situation. Do not participate in. In this case, though, it is NOT something you need to participate in. Exclude yourself. Do not engage. Just be outside, observing.

“Outside looking in” is more like you watching a movie. Don’t make yourself part of the cast. You’re not. You are part of the audience. You are there to watch, to analyze, and learn. You are there to get the takeaway. You are not there to change the story you did not create. Remember that.

The Art of Being Outside Looking In

It is an art, I call it. Because it requires the following:

1) DISTANCE. You are not the creator of the story, remember? You are just part of the audience. An observer. Therefore, you maintain your spot. You do not step beyond it. You just quietly watch the show.

2) NO JUDGMENT. NO CONTROL. Only recognition of what the situation is. You allow it to unfold before your eyes, unfiltered and raw. You let it transpire even if it brings out heavy emotions in you. You gain an awareness of what it truly is. But you do not try to change it.

3) MATURITY. Awareness brings forth understanding. You now see where the story is coming from. You may disagree with what is unfolding, but you understand why it is that way. You also know it is not your responsibility to change the course of the movie. It is not your story.

4) CHOICE. Being an observer, the power to make a choice is yours. You can decide to either take the situation or turn away from it. You can finish the movie if you please. Or you can either pack up and leave. But either way, your values, and standards determine your choice.

The Power of Being the Observer

Be outside looking in:

1) When someone harms you, be outside looking in. Then decide to give yourself justice and safety.

2) When someone rejects, ignores, or abandons you, be outside looking in. Then decide to choose yourself instead.

3) When someone does not appreciate your presence, be outside looking in. Then decide to turn away and walk toward people who do otherwise.

4) When someone maligns or puts you down, be outside looking in. Then decide to live your life with truth.

5) When someone tries to destroy you, be outside looking in. Then decide to empower yourself even more.

6) When someone betrays you, be outside looking in. Then decide never to trust that person again.

7) When someone cheats on you or disrespects you, be outside looking in. Then decide to respect yourself instead by firmly burning the bridge.

JUST OBSERVE. Exclude yourself from participating in the story you never created. Remember, that when you observe, you have a CHOICE on what to do after.

Master the skill. Master this art. Celebrate the power you have of being outside looking in!

| Image by Loifotos on Pexels |